When You’re Feeling Down, Savor Your Struggle

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When You’re Feeling Down, Savor Your Struggle

It’s All Hallow’s Eve, and we left our apartment this evening seeking tricks and treats.

With a 2-year-old Batman and a 4-year-old Optimus Prime in tow, my husband and I scrambled out the door and into the night.

Our apartment is far from luxurious, but the nearby neighborhood houses are nothing to scoff at. We trotted down beautiful brick paths, scoping out spacious, spookily adorned porches and crackling fire pits made of smooth stone.

I kind of enjoyed getting a glimpse inside the open doors. I was willing to bet it smelled good inside those houses, something like new carpet and rich mahogany wood.

I’m grateful for our 2 bedroom apartment, and our kids don’t seem to mind it, but I can’t help but feel a bit inadequate when I get a taste of how things could be.

I sigh to myself, wondering if i’ll ever get to the level of being able to afford something this nice. It’s not like I have my heart set on owning a fancy house, I would just like to get the point where I don’t have to worry about money quite so much.

Of course, who knows what these residents are going through. Maybe they struggle to pay their mortgage. Maybe the middle-aged woman giving out the full-sized Snickers bars just went through a divorce and feels super lonely under those lofty, vaulted ceilings.

I was jarred from my thoughts by my husband’s voice.

“Road sodas!” he cried, noticing a couple of costumed parents carrying beers while pushing a stroller.

“I should have thought of that!” He laughed.

I don’t want these people’s lives. I want my own, and right now, mine contains a snug 2 bedroom apartment, a couple of stained couches, 1 Optimus Prime, 1 Batman, and 1 beer guzzling husband. Not too bad.

So instead of allowing myself to be consumed by envy and insecurity, I decided to lean in and savor the moment. This moment, Halloween 2016, struggling just to get by but having fun nonetheless.

I know deep down, in my heart of hearts, that I will do big things with my life and career someday, and I want to remember exactly where I started. I want to remember staring longingly at big houses, wondering how in the heck we’re going to pay all the bills this month.

I don’t think there’s a magical end point in your life, when you’ve finally “arrived,” and say, “Welp, this is it! I need nothing more!”

The gift is in the journey, and struggle will always be a part of my journey, no matter how much money I have.

So why not lean in and savor every part of it?

What part of your journey do you struggle with? Leave a comment! 

 

 

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